Ponder

So which "ponder" are you: English or Bisaya?

Free Tea

Gentlemen, do this to your wife, girlfriend,
crush, even your mother or sister.
To someone you love, someone you like.
Hopefully, you could make them smile.

Crazy Horoscopes - Christmas Edition

Do Not Bring Us to the Test

What to pray when you were unable to study.

#DavidDASHensei November Digest

Your company needs you to make a document about young siblings who sell plates and umbrellas in two days. Now, how are you going to do that? Well, if you read the November Digest of #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day at once, you won't find out how, but at least you will learn how to say the italicized words in Japanese!

KASA, umbrella 

To use in a sentence: Kasa o jisan shite kudasai.
Translation: Please bring an umbrella.
To use in another sentence:
Sige man kag tan-aw TV, KASA pud nimo og kuryente oy! 

How to Forget Your Ex

Good morning DJ David Dash, I just want to ask: Do you have tips on how to forget your ex? Why can't I forget her even after all this time? She's still in my heart. She's still the one I'm looking for. She's still the one I'm thinking of. Thank you, DJ. From Tadz.

Dear Tadz, here are some tips to make you forget your ex:

1. Reduce your alphabet to only 25 letters. You know what letter to remove. Also, take that letter out of your computer keyboard, it's no longer your type.
2. Don't play with a PlayStation, so you don't eventually need to press the ✕ button on your controller. Also, you can't play with the Xbox (obviously), and the Wii (you've got no "we" anymore, you're living separate lives).
3. Don't use the computer. Its programs have a big red button on the upper right you don't want to see. Ironically, it's marked as Close. You don't want to get close with your ex if you want to forget him/her. Stay away.
4. In Math, you can add, subtract or divide, but don't multiply (unless you're using the interpunct). Also, stay away from problems that ask you to find the value of x. You already know the answer to that, it's zero!
5. Move on but don't get stuck with the next letter: Y (why). Also, instead of letters, go with the numbers: Find 8, make it fall for you, so it becomes your forever (infinity, yeah)! #NaayForever
6. Study well and study hard, so when the examinations come, you'll be perfect! And if you're perfect, all you'll get are ✓ marks, no ✗! You'll have great grades too!

Remember: Without any ✗, your life would be PERFECT! 

This originally aired on the segment Sound Advice on Iskrambol sa Buntag. For more morning fun, tune in to 106.7 Home Radio Cebu, Mondays to Fridays, 6-10am and Saturdays, 6-9am.

#DavidDASHensei: October Digest

Did you dream about a fairy asking you for money so she could buy soy sauce in a meat store in the desert? Now, how do you say that in Japanese? If you choose to read on, you will find out how! Here are the featured words in #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day for October. And tune in to Iskrambol sa Buntag with David Dash (Mon-Fri, 6-10am; Sat, 6-9am) on 106.7 Home Radio Cebu for more.

SHOUYU, soy sauce 

To use in a sentence: Shouyu to raamen ga suki desu.
Translation: I like ramen with soy sauce.
To use in another sentence:
Ha? Di ka kahibalo unsaon? Tan-awa, let me SHOUYU! 

#DavidDASHensei September Digest

Let's add more words to your Japanese vocabulary with the seventh monthly digest of #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day! This segment is part of Iskrambol sa Buntag on 106.7 Home Radio Cebu with DJ David Dash, Mondays to Fridays at 6-10am, and Saturdays at 6-9am. Here are the kotoba for September:

OOKAMI, wolf

To use in a sentence: Ookami no kowai desu.
Translation: I'm afraid of the wolf.
To use in another sentence:
Yes, gisugot na ko ni crush. OO, KAMI na! Yehey! I'm so happy!

#DavidDASHensei August Digest

Kurasu wo hajimemashou! 'Cause we got the latest batch of #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day! Enjoy and learn with the sixth monthly digest, featuring the Japanese words for August. As always, you can catch this segment live plus a whole lot more of morning fun on Iskrambol sa Buntag, Mondays to Fridays, 6 to 10am, and Saturdays, 6-9am, on 106.7 Home Radio Cebu.

No Audio

Caller: Hello, SKYcable, wala lagi audio ang salida?
CSR: Unsa ka nga plan naka-subscribe, Sir?
Caller: Dual Def 299.
CSR: Normal ra na, Sir. Naka-dual deaf man ka, so ang duha nimo ka dunggan, di kadungog!

All Traffic

CITOM Enforcer: Boss, naa ka'y traffic violation. Di baya pwede mo-left turn.
Driver: Kinsa'y ingon dili pwede?
CITOM Enforcer: Klaro kaayo ang sign, boss. Ang All Traffic kay right arrow.
Driver: Mao bitaw! Tanang trapik naa sa tuo mao nang anhi ko sa left kay wa'y trapik!

#DavidDASHensei July Digest

We got another batch of Japanese words to learn as OPC presents the July Digest of #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day. Catch the latest tutorials and a whole lot more on Iskrambol sa Buntag with David Dash, Mondays to Fridays at 6-10am and Saturdays at 6-9am, only on 106.7 Home Radio Cebu, natural! You can also listen online here.

#DavidDASHensei: June Digest

It's once again time to review the featured words in #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day, as heard on 106.7 Home Radio Cebu, natural. Tune in to Iskrambol sa Buntag with David Dash, Mondays to Fridays at 5-9am, and Saturdays at 6-9am for more Japanese word fun! Here is the digest for the month of June:

#DavidDASHensei May Digest

OPC is catching up with some posts that have been delayed such as this one. Here is the May digest of the featured words in #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day as heard on Iskrambol sa Buntag on 106.7 Home Radio Cebu:

HONDANA, bookshelf

To use in a sentence: Hondana ga ippai desu.
Translation: The bookshelf is full.
To use in another sentence:
Kung Fortuner, Toyota na. Kung Picanto, Kia na. Kung Civic, HONDANA!

#DavidDASHensei April Digest

It's once again time to recap all the featured Japanese words in #DavidDASHensei's Word of the Day and add them into your everyday vocabulary. Learn and have fun in this latest digest for the month of April:

• KOCHIRA, this
  To use in a sentence: Kochira wa enpitsu desu.
  Translation: This is a pencil.
  
  To use in other sentences:
  1. Sa buntag, ako abri tindahan. Sa gabii, a-KOCHIRA tindahan!
  2. Noon, a-KOCHIRA China, Ngayon, a-KOCHIRA Philippines.
  3. Sakit kung bunal, pero di kaayo sakit kung KOCHIRA.
  4. Puro na lang lagi ni tinidor, nganong wala na may KOCHIRA?! [1]
  5. Kung lalaki, kutsero. Kung babaye, KOCHIRA. [2]
  
  To use in a song:
  KOCHIRA chira, whatever will be, will be,
  The future is ours to see, KOCHIRA chira. [3]

Top 10 Mayweather-Pacquiao Punchlines

The so-called "Fight of the Century" is done. The result: A unanimous decision victory for Floyd Mayweather, Jr. Technically, I do agree that he won, but still I found the fight unconvincing and underwhelming. With that, here are OPC's Top 10 Mayweather-Pacquiao Punchlines:

1. Pacquiao was rumored to wear jogging pants instead of shorts to make room for more sponsor logos. But he would still have lost. His jogging speed will still be slower than Mayweather's running.
2. Mayweather was overheard telling Pacquiao during the match: "You are actually the better fighter, but I am the better lover. So here are some hugs!"
3. Mayweather was again overheard telling Pacquiao during the match: "You may also be quick to punch, but I'm quicker to run!"
4. In an interview, Mayweather said: "I was actually just copying Pacquiao's technique. He ran in congress and won. So I tried running in the ring and I won too! Effective!"  
5. Rumor has it that Mayweather will retire in boxing so he can concentrate on his new sport: track and field!
6. Breaking news: The referee for the Mayweather-Pacquiao match has just been suspended! He was suspended for his failure to blow his whistle and call a travelling violation against Floyd.
7. It would have been better if the boxing referee was replaced by a traffic enforcer or a police officer. Hit and run would have gotten Mayweather arrested.
8. Mayweather said he gave a mediocre performance because he thought it still wasn't the actual fight. He thought it was just a rehearsal; he thought it was still a dry run.
9. Some people asked me to stop my Mayweather punchlines already. They've had enough. I responded: "PUNCH-lines? It's more like RUN-lines, right?!"
10. But before I stop, let me give you just one more punchline I haven't thrown yet. I haven't been able to throw it yet because... I've been busy running!

#DavidDASHensei March Digest

Interested to learn some Japanese words, what they mean and how to use them in a sentence? Keep reading! Here is a recap of #DavidDASHensei's Japanese words of the day for March 2015, as heard on Iskrambol sa Buntag:

• KASEGU, to earn money
  To use in a sentence: Watashi wa kasegu shitai desu.
  Translation: I want to earn money.
  To use in another sentence: Kung manambok ka, imong sanina di na KASEGU.
  
• SENSHUU, last week
  To use in a sentence: Watashi wa senshuu aisu kuriimu ga tabemashita.
  Translation: I ate ice cream last week.
  To use in another sentence: Sa pagsakay og jeep, SENSHUU lang sa buntag! 

Zero or Max ug Uban Pang Pakatawa

Coke or Pepsi

A fortune cookie gave P-Noy a choice of which drink he wanted: Coke Zero or Pepsi Max. Immediately, P-Noy took the Coke Zero and drank it. Upon reading further, the fortune cookie stated: The drink you chose determines your love life for 2015. #ZeroOrMax

Ang Haircut ug Uban Pang Pakatawa

The Haircut

Teacher: Juan, taas na kaayo ka og buhok! Di ba giingnan na man ka nako nga magpa-haircut?
Juan: Mao na bitaw ni, Ma'am. Kung his cut, mubô; Pero kung her cut... taas!

Si Ben 11 and Other Laughables

Ben-11 (courtesy of Mike G)

Q: Kung si Ben 10 cartoon character, unsa man si Ben 11?
A: Si Ben 11 kay... convenience store!

K-9 (courtesy of Mike G)

Q: Nganong K-9 man ang tawag sa iro?
A: Kay kung K-10, iring nâ nga gamay pa.

Second Day

Q: Unsa'y kanta sa manag-uyab on their second day together?
A: "Day Two, Day Two sa puso ko!"

 
[ITUNES]

Coca-Cola Body

Q: Kinsa nga PBA player ang adunay Coca-Cola body?
A: Walay lain kung dili si Curvy Raymundo!

Dancing Quen

Guy 1: Bai, matod pa sa kanta nga "Dancing Quen," unsa nang orasa?
Guy 2: Unsa man?
Guy 1: Alas siyete diyes.
Guy 2: Mao ba?
Guy 1: "You are the dancing quen, young and swet, only seventen."

Cake Questions

Kung naay cassava cake, naa pud kahay cahilom cake?
Kung naay banana cake, naa pud kahay asawana cake?

Blood

Empleyado: Ma'am, blood ba ka?
Female Boss: Ngano, kay type ko nimo?
Empleyado: Aw, dili Ma'am. Maka-pressure man gud ka!

Ipaibot

Mama: Nganong hilom man ka, Anak?
Anak: Sakit man gud akong ngipon, Ma.
Mama: Ipaibot na lang na imong ngipon, motubo pa bitaw na og balik.
Anak: Okay, Ma.
(Niabot ang amahan.)
Anak: Nganong hilom man ka, Pa?
Papa: Sakit man gud akong dila, naay luas.
Anak: Ipaibot na lang na imong dila, Pa, motubo pa bitaw na og balik.
Papa: Kinsay gatudlo nimo ana?
Anak: Si Mama ay!
Mama: Mao na ni ron!