Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Breaking News: Tulisan Arrested

An alleged robber targetting lonely victims was finally nabbed by authorities in Cebu City yesterday afternoon. According to the suspect, he needed some money but couldn't borrow from his friends. He then turned on the radio and decided to rob people who looked sad and alone after hearing Air Supply's "Tulis Lonely People in the World."

In related news, the DJ who played the song has been summoned by the police to shed some light on the matter. The DJ says he only played the song because it was a request. The police is now having a manhunt to capture the texter who requested for the track.

The Kapisanan ng mga Brodkaster ng Pilipinas has advised their member stations to ban the said song in order to prevent more crimes of this nature. Meanwhile, Cebu City Mayor Tomas OsmeƱa has ordered the closure of the station which played the song. The station is owned by Henry Sy, who also owns SM and BDO.

Note: Obviously, this is a satire piece, or #FakeNews, as what they are called these days.

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